De-Gunking
Coaching is rewarding in many ways but ‘degunking’ brings me such joy as I see clients becoming happier, more inspired and more courageous.
My love of what I call ‘de-gunking’ sparked to life when I heard a true story of a gold statue being plastered over with stucco to keep it safe from thieves. For almost 200 years it was ‘only’ a clay statue – its true value, glow and impact hidden by a layer designed to keep it safe. (more info here)
Our brains and minds can work like that. We’re born unique and unselfconscious (new babies don’t care what anyone thinks). But as we grow up, our unique inner essence gets ‘coated’ in expectations, bad experiences, culture and traditions. The part of our brain that wants to keep us ‘safe’ starts to create rules like “stay quiet”, “be funny”, ‘don’t make any mistakes”. A buildup of ‘gunk’ accumulates that holds us back – often without our even being aware of it. It gets in the way of our confidence, our clarity and our conviction.
So how we get degunked? It’s a journey. Part of the process is noticing and losing some of the gunk and tuning into the authentic truths and north star at our core.
Some we can do alone but, often we need a thinking partner to help us notice and overcome inner resistance. As a goldfish isn’t aware of the water it swims in, we may need someone else to notice our energy shift, how our words and body language don’t match, or how our thinking may be faulty. ICF certified coaches are trained in this.
Over time, we can strengthen the frequency and power of our ‘Inner Ally’ and weaken that of our ‘ Inner Critic’. And define our values which put wind in our sails. Being clear about our values and strengthening our Inner Ally are key tools to break free of the gunk that gets in our way, and live a freer, more fulfilling, bolder life with purpose.
Interested? Take It Further:
Take this free assessment to identify some of your personal ‘Gunk’ (called Saboteurs in this model)
It’s by Shirzad Charmine who wrote Positive Intelligence. He writes: “Saboteurs are the voices in your head that generate negative emotions in the way you handle life’s everyday challenges. They represent automated patterns in your mind for how to think, feel, and respond. They cause all of your stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness. They sabotage your performance, wellbeing, and relationships.”
Take time to reflect on what you would be doing and what you would be freed from there were no possible negative consequences. What do you learn about yourself from this?
When we become aware of a mental habit, assumptions, unhelpful pattern or mean self-talk we get look at it with detachment and ask if it serves us. We can develop agency over our thinking and choice so that we drive our thoughts rather than them driving us.
